the “you shall not pass” bean

constipation memories 2

Ladies . . . we don’t talk about poo, in fact we even like to pretend we don’t do such things at all.

Discussing poo is such an odd subject we have come up with the most ridiculous ways to reference it . . . Doing a dookie, dropping the kids off at the pool, baiting the trap, backing the bus out the garage, baking brownies, becoming the porcelain assassin, bomb the bowl, blowing the butt trumpet, building a log cabin, butt gherkins, charm an upside down brown snake, chocolate rain, chopping a log, code brown, curl one down, dirty squirties, the royal squat, doodie, drop a biggie smalls, drop a bomb, a nuke, a stink pickle, free a bog crocodile, full moon over troubled waters, pinch a grumpy, releasing the kraken, slide one out, visiting the throne . . . the list goes on, apparently if it is suddenly humorous, it is okay to talk about.

Why is she bringing this up you ask?

Mamma wants to poo and Bean won’t allow it – THATS WHY, and I’m freaking beside myself!

Im sorry if this post makes some people a little uncomfortable, but lets be honest here, pregnancy isn’t all sunshine and baby booties and belly rubs. At present its a world of prune juice and counting bathroom tiles.

I guess now would be a good time to download Candy Crush and get comfortable.

If you see me smiling, I have finally managed to release some chocolate hostages 😉


(oh god, I just can’t do it . . .  I poop rainbows, I swear!)


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